You Know You’ve Had Too Much Caffeine When…

Something to read with your morning cup of coffee.

You Know You’ve Had Too Much Caffeine When…: “

In the style of ‘You might be a redneck if…’ jokes, here’s a batch about caffeine:

You might be a caffeine addict if:

  • Your web page has the Mountain Dew color scheme.
  • You don’t sweat, you percolate.
  • You have to drink some form of caffeinated beverage just to sleep.
  • Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
  • You lick your coffeepot clean.
  • You know from experience caffeine tablets don’t dissolve in cola.
  • Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.
  • You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
  • You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked
  • You can jump-start your car without cables.
  • You see nothing wrong with using water joe to make the coffee you use to take your no-doze.
  • You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can.
  • The dishes in your house are all coffee cups.
  • Starbuck’s owns the mortgage on your house.
  • You suck on a used coffee filter and grounds whenever the can runs out of coffee.
  • You have distilled Jolt Cola to make it more potent.
  • A cup of coffee before bed doesn’t keep you from falling asleep anymore.
  • You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug.
  • You’ve ever used the airplane’s call button just to get a coffee refill.
  • You dip espresso beans.
  • You slip into a coma if you drink decaf by accident.
  • You’ve given up sex, TV, and all forms of meat for Lent before, but STILL can’t make it 40 days without caffeine.
  • Your birthday is a national holiday in Colombia.
  • You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
  • You go to the doctor because you’re afraid there might be blood in your Mountain Dew stream.
  • You can name the five flavors of JOLT.
  • You need a caffeinated beverage after lunch to avoid being cranky all afternoon.
  • You believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable.
  • You have a website about caffeine.

Post any more you have in the comments.

(Via Energy Fiend.)

You Know You’ve Had Too Much Caffeine When…

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